Kissed Through a Veil
by spannerbanana
Summary: Bella has made mistakes through her whole life, but is determined to put a stop to them for her daughter. Life has not been kind to her so far and her heart has been broken too many times. A face from her past helps heal Bella's soul but will it just be broken again? AH AU, short chapters. M for adult content.
1. Chapter 1

**AN- This is my first fanfiction so I welcome ****_constructive _****criticism and any other kind of advice you want to give me, I am warning you now that there will be tragedy in this story so be prepared! I hope you enjoy this story and I hope it all goes well! so, without further ado, happy reading!**

**Chapter 1-**** Prologue**

I have always made mistakes. All the way through my life I have never walked a path completely free of bumps, bumps that I never failed to trip up on and injure myself or someone else. As I grew older and travelled further down the path of life, my mistakes became less common, but the mistakes I did make became bigger and caused even more destruction. However, despite my extensive list of misdemeanours, there are some things that happened to me throughout my life that could not have been prevented, though I can't help thinking 'what if?' 'What if I hadn't gone down the road?' or 'what if I had just helped her?'

You can't go through life wondering, what if? It will only drive you insane or worse. I now know that you have to take life with all the rough patches and accept it, if only I knew that then.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2- **Do you believe in ghosts?**

_3 years ago._

"Mom! It hurts so bad!" I screeched at the top of my lungs, whilst I clutched my swollen stomach.

"I know baby, I know. Just take deep breaths for me, okay?" my mom's hazel eyes stared deeply into my brown ones as she took deep breaths with me, "we're almost at the hospital."

After nine agonizing months of pregnancy, my waters officially broke at 3:07 am on a Wednesday morning which meant my mother and I had to stand on the sidewalk for 25 minutes waiting for a cab, it was a great start to my birthing experience.

"WE'RE HERE!" my mom squealed (like this place was Disneyland, not the maternity ward) and threw a bunch of notes at the cab driver.

"Fucking finally." I muttered, under my breath. My mom threw her arms around me and pretty much carried me into the building.

I sat on the crinkly hospital sheets just running my hands over them. The nurses had already told me that it could be a while before I was fully dilated so I should just make myself comfortable. My mom had already run off with the doctor to '_talk about my requirements' _but I know that just means _'try to get him to sleep with me'._Just as I laid back and started to feel comfortable for the first time in nine months, the doors of the room flew open. A heavily pregnant blonde woman strutted in, wearing four inch heels- which was very impressive by the way- and a black wrap-a-round dress, she plonked herself down on the bed opposite to me. She took off her unnecessarily big designer sunglasses to reveal a flawless, supermodel worthy face complete with perfect make-up. Her sharp blue eyes were framed by thin, angular, dark eyebrows that sloped down to a straight nose. She had pursed lips which were coloured in a perfect hot pink. Her bouncy, golden hair stopped just after her shoulders and contrasted her deeply tanned skin (which was oddly dark for Seattle).

"Tanya Cullen." She said in a curt voice with an expensive phone pressed against her ear. I looked down at myself in my holey t-shirt and maternity sleep pants; I did not look good against that.

"For fuck's sake Tanya!" A deep, velvet voice said from the door way," put the phone down your in fucking labour!"

I was not prepared for what I saw next.

Thick tresses of penny-coloured hair sat atop of his head in the most beautiful mess I had ever seen, his slightly sun kissed skin seemed to lighten up the whole room. He had a straight nose that had a slight bump as if it had been broken on or two times and pink pouty lips that were beautiful but still managed to look masculine. The best thing about him though, was his eyes. They were a deep forest green that sparkled with life and the best thing; they were staring right at me.

"Hey, I'm Edward Cullen." He said with a broad smile, holding his hand out to me.

"Bella Swan." I said shaking his hand.

"Well, Bella Swan, it seems we're all going to be sharing a room."

Uh oh.

_Present day_

I stood in the playground at Amelie's school watching her run toward the entrance to her classroom, dark curls following behind her. Just before she reached the door she waved at a slightly taller girl with blonde pigtails, god I recognised her from somewhere. The blonde girl waved to the area just to the left of me. I turned around and was amazed at the sight.


	3. Chapter 3- Do you believe in fate?

Chapter 3- **Do you believe in fate?**

The memories of being sat in the cold labour room came flooding back to me as I stared, jaw on the floor at the man. He was even more beautiful now then he was 3 years ago, though he looked tired and his green eyes didn't hold quite as much sparkle. Quickly, i flip my dark hair to cover my face in the hope he won't see me. But he does. Of course he does.

"Bella?" His soft, smooth voice said from behind me,

"Edward, hey" i turned around suddenly, and in the process i whacked him in the nose. Shit.

"HOLY MOTHER OF!" he screamed,

"Holy shit Edward I'm so sorry!" i said, covering my mouth in shock.

"God woman!" he said in pain.

"Fuck you're bleeding, come on I'll take you back to mine."

* * *

"Put your head between your knees, that's it," he rested his head between his knees, groaning, "We're almost there."

* * *

He was sat on my kitchen counter as i dabbed his face with a cloth. We hadn't spoken much, and i was beginning to get a little uncomfortable.

"So...How's Tanya?" I asked in an attempt to break the tension,

"I don't know, none of my business really," His reply flummoxed me; this was his wife we were talking about. When did he become so cold? The Edward i remembered was a kind, warm guy with a beaming smile and a great personality. The guy sat in front of me was just...cold.

He saw the perplexed expression on my face and decided to put me out of my misery.

"We're separated" he said with a sad smile.

"oh." Even though i tried to hide it, the relief in my voice was evident.

He flashed his crooked smile at me, but it didn't reach his eyes. His eyes were always blank, and focussed on something else, like he was always in deep thought.

He hadn't changed much really; his hair was still a beautiful mess and his face just as ethereal. However as i looked closely i could see the differences, he had deep, dark bags under his eyes and a 'v' between his eyebrows.

"How's your daughter, Cassidy was it?" I tried to change the subject,

"She's great, she copes extremely well, considering." He replied, the familiar beaming grin lighting up his face. His love for the child was apparent.

"And your daughter, Amelie?" he asked, finally engaging in conversation with me.

"She's wonderful." I said, smiling.

* * *

_3 years ago_

"Tanya, do you need anything?" Edward asked the blonde woman, kneeling before her. She waved him off and he rolled his eyes.

He smiled at me and stood up.

"So...boy or girl?" he asked, gesturing toward my stomach.

"I don't know" I replied.

"Yeah, i wanted it to be a surprise too but, Tanya insisted she had to know, to decorate the nursery or whatever." He explained with a tight smile.

"So...boy or girl?" I asked, mirroring his earlier words.

"Girl, we're naming her Cassidy."

* * *

**AN- Thanks everyone for the reviews, follows and favourites so far they made me really happy! I'm just getting used to fanfiction so bear with me when it comes to formatting and stuff. For the next couple of days the updates should be daily but after that they will probably drop down to 2 or 3 times a week, just a fair warning:) Thanks again and REVIEW please;)**


	4. Chapter 4- Do you believe in silence?

Chapter 4- **Do you believe in silence? **

_Present day_

Staring at his face, now clean from blood, it made me realise that I leave a trail of destruction behind me wherever I go. I always end up hurting myself or someone else. I scare people off, I don't want to be alone but sometimes it's just the easiest option. Now that I had Amelie, I was never truly alone, but it was the time of day when I was on my own in my big empty house that I knew how lonely my life was.

"This may be completely inappropriate, but I need know for my own sanity," Edward said, breaking the comfortable silence," What happened to Amelie's father?"

His question threw me completely off guard, my eyes grew wide and fear coursed through my veins like ice cold water. I stared into his eyes, hoping to find some relief, but all I saw was my own reflection in his glazed over eyes. Big, sad, brown eyes stared back at me instead of emerald ones and the fact that I could not escape my own misery made my breathing shallow.

Finally recognising my obvious distress, Edward reached out and put his large hand on my shoulder, "Hey, listen, you don't have to tell me it's fine," His attempt at comfort did nothing to steady my breathing, "Hey, hey, hey breathe. Just breathe." He said grasping my chin.

I couldn't bring myself to look at him so I stared at my sock-clad feet and mumbled, "I need a cigarette." And bolted.

* * *

Lighting my third cigarette, I leant against my porch fence and allowed the bitterly cold wind to calm and sooth me. I had always much preferred the cold to the heat, after spending way too many years living in Arizona, where the blistering heat seemed to be ever-present and unavoidable. There was no escape from it.

"Hey, do you think I could have one of those?" The familiar bell-like voice of Edward Cullen said from behind me.

I smiled and handed him one along with my lighter.

"Look, I'm sorry. I know I was way out of line before and I shouldn't have asked that. I mean I don't even know what I was thinking, like we literally just saw each other again after three years and I don't know I just feel like I've known you for a real long time, you know..." He rambled on like this for around 3 minutes before I decided to put him out of his misery.

"Edward, it's fine. It's my problem and I've got to deal with it. Don't worry about anything, okay?" I interrupted, just as his monologue turned to how non-existent his brain to mouth filter was. He nodded in reply, and the comfortable silence once again evaded us.

"Do you want to go for a drink?" Edward asked," You know, just friends. You seem like you could do to let your hair down for a little while." He flashed me a beautiful grin that made me go a little weak at the knees.

I thought about his little proposition for a while, running over the pros and cons in my head before deciding on an outcome.

"Yeah, I think I'd like that."

"Cool, tomorrow night? 8 o'clock, that okay for you?"

"Yeah, that's okay."

* * *

**AN-Woohoo! Fourth chapter out! I hope you all enjoyed this one; I have grand plans for the next one!**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5-** Do you believe in second chances?**

_Around 4 and a half years ago._

As I sat in my dad's cruiser on the way to my first day of school I thought over the last couple of days, my mom telling me we were moving, my dad's phone call and my abrupt departure. Four days ago I was packing to move with my mom and her new boyfriend to sunny Florida, yet somehow ended up in dull, wet Forks WA.

The rain and clouds were a welcome break from the blistering heat of Arizona and I wondered why I hadn't thought of coming to live with my dad sooner. I guess it was the fact that my mother would be alone without me and would probably find a way to set herself on fire within an hour of my leaving. _Now though_, I thought, _she has Phil and hopefully he will keep her safe and out of harm's way, god knows it's a difficult job to keep her out of trouble._

I finally accepted my father's offer to come and live with him until I graduated, which meant being the new kid at the tiny high school in Forks in the middle of the semester. Lucky me.

Dad had assured me countless times that all the kids were really nice and that I would my lots of new friends. However, friends weren't top of my list of priorities for this year; I figured I would just keep my head down, try to go under the radar, study hard, graduate with good grades and get the fuck out of here.

We pulled up outside of Forks high school and I could feel hundreds of eyes staring at me. _So much for going under the radar. _

I saw a group of blonde girls in cheerleading outfits huddled, giggling, by the _'Forks high school home of the Spartans' _sign. _God, could this place get more stereotypical. _

After receiving my schedule from the nice old lady at the desk, I ventured to my first lesson of the day. Gym, _great_. I walked down the corridor with my head down, using my long, dark hair as a shield from the world. I knew people were staring at me put I just kept my head down and carried on walking, this was not going well.

**/**

After spending gym class on the bench, I changed quickly and scurried off to my second lesson, Biology.

Once again I bowed my head and journeyed off o the science building. I took one step before walking straight into a wall of solid muscle.

"Woah there hon. be careful." I looked up at the man who would come to change my life.

"Sorry," I mumbled

"It's okay. Hey I'm Jake, Jacob Black."

**Here is the start of Bella's history, any theories? Thanks for reading and please REVIEW!**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6- **Do you believe leopards can change their spots?**

_Around four and a half years ago_

"Bella Swan." I said, introducing myself.

"Oh, _your_ Charlie's girl. He hasn't shut up about you since Friday," I found this strange since I agreed to come to Forks on Saturday, "so... you want to go to the diner tonight?"

The way he spoke angered me a little, always so confident and abrupt. It was as if he expected me to fall at his every whim. I could see why girls would usually fall at his feet; Jacob Black was attractive, in that typical boy next-door kind of way. His deep russet toned skin contrasted his bright white teeth perfectly. He had soft brown eyes and the kind of face you felt like you had known forever.

As I looked into his eyes, I could see past the nice-boy facade and saw a fire of rage and maliciousness burning hot and deep. I looked away from his eyes, I couldn't look anymore, this boy frightened me.

I realised that I hadn't answered his question yet and so without thinking I answered with an abrupt "Yes." He smiled a wide toothy smile. However this time it wasn't warm or comforting, it was wicked.

* * *

I sat in the corner booth at the diner waiting for Jacob. I really didn't want to be here, but somehow I felt forced. I knew I wasn't held against my will yet I still felt bound by imaginary ropes to the chair I was sat on.

The door to the diner swung open forcefully, making all the glasses on the bar shake, a group of Native American boys with the same skin tone as Jacob's entered making a lot of noise.

A few seconds after the group, Jacob walked in and walked straight over to my table. I put down the battered copy of Jane Austin's _Emma_ that I had been reading and forced a grin. _This was going to be a long night._

* * *

Several months passed and Jake and I fell into a comfortable routine. He ignored me at school however, every Thursday night we would go to the diner; sit in the corner booth and talk. We would talk about all of our thoughts and fears and concerns and, though I hated to admit it, Jake had grown on me. I had come to trust and understand him and I did consider him one of my very best friends. My only friend really.

I sat in the diner, reading _Wuthering Heights_ this time, waiting for Jake. I heard the door fly open, and I looked up to see who entered. Jake stumbled in, eyes hooded, with a lazy smile on his face. _He'd been drinking._

He walked a couple more steps before tripping over a stool by the bar; I stood up quickly and rushed to help him. I held his shoulders and helped him up.

"Bellaaaa, Bella wella!" He slurred, "I'm having a party!" he was talking extremely loudly and I felt my cheeks heat up as everyone's eyes focussed on us.

"You should come Bella Wella!" he exclaimed, like he had just discovered how to stop global warming. I was conscious of everybody in the diner looking at me so I snapped, "Fine!" and pushed him out of the door.

* * *

Jacob sat down in his Rabbit and immediately sobered up.

"Jake?" I asked, completely confused.

"Yes Bella?" he said back, in his normal voice.

He saw my confused expression and laughed.

"I'm not drunk Bella, I just didn't know how else I was going to get you to come with me."

I just rolled my eyes and folded my arms, what a dick head.

* * *

We arrived at the 'party' and it didn't seem very much like a party at all. Jake's living room was the same as ever but with three bottles of vodka on the coffee table, along with two shot glasses.

"Come on Bella, come sit with me." Jake said from the couch, holding a full shot glass out in front of him, "Come on, for me?" he said and I took the shot from his hand and threw it back.

* * *

I'd had a few shots and everything was getting blurry.

"Hey Bells, come a little closer. I don't bite...much." Jake said and I snuggled closer to him. Mmmmmm he was warm.

Jake threw his arm around me and his hand grazed my breast. He knocked my head and turned it toward him, before covering my lips with his. I pressed my hand against his cheek and pushed him away.

"No, Jake." I mumbled.

"NO?!" He screamed in my face.

"Nobody says no to me, Bitch. I'll fucking show you no!" He shouted, as he pinned my shoulders to the couch.

**We are getting somewhere nowJ Thanks for reading and please REVIEW!**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7-** Do you believe in forgiveness?**

I had made a huge mistake thinking back to that night, the night that both scarred me for life and gave me the greatest gift of all. Jacob had brutally raped me, and I had been powerless to stop it. After that night I had trained hard at the gym and become my absolute best self. I was closed off and cold, I had intended to move to live with my mother but she was having such a brilliant time with Phil that I didn't want to burden her.

3 weeks later I discovered I was pregnant, cried to my mom who moved to Forks to be with me and I guess the rest is history.

I lied awake in bed my mind reeling over the day with Edward, why was he so beautiful? After accepting Edward's offer for drinks, we had journeyed to school to pick the girls up.

Amelie had run to me and wrapped her tiny arms around my legs, her glasses pressing against my knees. When she saw Edward she hid behind me and didn't say another word.

Amelie tugged on my sweater and whispered, "Mommy? Can we go home? I'm hungry."

I replied by picking her up and kissing her cheek, "Of course baby, spaghetti bolognaise sound good?" she nodded her head vigorously, ebony ringlets flying everywhere.

"Let's go."

* * *

After bidding Edward farewell, I strapped Amelie into her car seat and set off back home. We sang along to my Classic Rock Compilation CD that my dad bought me for Christmas two years ago. After belting out Am's rendition of _We built this city_, which turned _city_ into _kitty, _we arrived home and my daughter skipped to the door.

"Come on Mommy! I want my spaletti!" Amelie exclaimed, stumbling over her words. I giggled at how she said spaghetti; it was exactly the same as what I used to say.

"Amelie, be patient." I scolded gently, whilst unlocking the door.

* * *

After eating, Amelie sat at her desk in her bedroom doing some homework from her kindergarten; she had always struggled with academia and required a lot of extra support and guidance with forming letters and things. It had always made her sad that she couldn't do all of the things the other kids could, however it got better when we got her glasses. They made her feel special and different, and she would always tell the other kids that her magic glasses made her _clevererer_.

I loved that she could stick up for herself and that she always kept a wide grin whatever she was doing.

I watched her with pride when her eyebrows knotted together in concentration, as she tried to form an '_S'_ on her handwriting sheet. It ended up kind of like a backwards 'Z' but I was so proud that she got the formation right, that I wrapped her up in my arms and kissed her forehead.

"Hey there my little genius! Well done baby." I said to her," You still want to go to Grammy Sue's tomorrow?" I asked.

"YAY! Grammy Sue bakes me cookies!" Am exclaimed.

I giggled, and then set her down.

_I guess I am going to drinks with Edward then, no matter what. _

**AN-Woo! Chapter Seven out! Sorry it was a bit of a filler, I just wanted to show a little of Amelie and Bella's relationship. Thanks for reading and I LOVE reviews! :-) **


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8- Do you believe in "Just one drink?" I handed Amelie her backpack and book and kissed her cheek, "Are you sure you're going to be okay without me for two nights?" I said looking her in the eye. "Yes momma." She replied, nodding enthusiastically, making her glasses slip down her nose. "Careful." I said slipping her glasses back up with my index finger," I love you and I'll see you on Sunday, okay?" I kissed her forehead. "I love you mommy, see you Sunday!" I stood in front of my closet with a frown on my face. Edward had said drinks. What the fuck does 'drinks' mean? Coffee or beer? Lemonade or fucking Shots? I grumbled to myself and collapsed on my bed. Tonight was going to be a long night. I decided to give myself some thinking time over my outfit so I went on to my make-up. I applied a light amount of foundation, blush and shadow, then a line of eyeliner and some awesome mascara I had discovered from the only drugstore in Forks. I curled my hair so it fell in waves down my back and I clipped the front few tendrils off of my forehead. After what felt like hours of deliberation I settled on a pair of skinny jeans and a white shirt that hugged my figure and accentuated my best bits. I threw on a long chain, some hoop earrings and my brown ankle boots and I was ready to go. I don't know why I was so nervous about tonight. It was just drinks. As friends. Nothing could go wrong. The doorbell rang and I shot to the door. I opened it with a large cheesy grin. "Hey Edward!" I exclaimed, sounding overly cheery. "Hey, you look beautiful." He replied, making me blush. "Thanks, you too." Thanks you too? Thanks you fucking too? Why the hell would he look beautiful? He must have thought I was a freak. Come, to think of it though, he did look REALLY hot. He had on a dark blue button down with a white undershirt and a pair of faded blue jeans. His hair was the same delicious mess on his head and his eyes bright and wide. "Thanks." He replied, chuckling. "So, where are we going?" I said, trying to break the ice. "My brother's bar, that okay?" He asked, looking uncharacteristically shy. "Sure," I said following his lead out of my door. I locked the door and turned around to something...unexpected. To say the least. Oh Fuck me. AN- And it's out! Finally! Sorry it took so long, it's just that RL is giving me a REALLY hard time lately and I'm struggling to get chapters out regularly. I'm going to say that I will try to get a chapter out weekly, but I don't think I can give a specific day because of all the craziness. Thanks for reading and I LOVE reviews. PS- What/who do you think is outside of the house? ;) 


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